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Preparing for IVF – Ordering the sperm
My medication arrived safely the day after I ordered it, and I felt the first of what were likely to be dozens of mini-triumphs as I stumbled over each hurdle towards IVF. So many things could still go...
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A very welcome visitor
As an IVF patient, you’re emotionally like a pin in a ten-pin bowling alley, knocked down again and again, every time you manage to right yourself. I began to wonder how long I could carry on picking...
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Information: Finding the cheapest way to have IVF
Forgive a brief interruption to the narrative flow of this memoir once again. I felt that it might be helpful to share some information. I recently posted on a fertility forum asking if there was...
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Preparing for IVF – Needles, needles and more needles
My hands are shaking and I feel faint. For years I’ve had a phobia of sharp objects, especially needles, and now my worst nightmare is being realised – I have to give myself an injection. A few days...
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On longing
I spend Christmas Day walking, for miles around the city of Copenhagen. Every pace forward is a valiant attempt to keep my mind off tomorrow’s scan and the possibility of all this effort and expense...
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Preparing for IVF – Second scan (and all systems are go!)
I arrived early for my second scan. I recognised the auburn-haired nurse I’d seen the day before and she showed me into the scanning room straight away. This time, a friendly-faced male doctor with a...
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The evening before
I’d taken the Ovitrelle injection (for ovulation) the previous evening at the instructed time and awoke to my first blue sky since arriving in Copenhagen. My only task was to stay calm and not think...
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IVF – The experience of egg collection (and being part of a miracle)
I arose early after an understandably restless night and caught the bus to the fertility clinic. Dark clouds hung low in the sky and the temperature had warmed slightly. Alone in the waiting room, I...
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The wonder of IVF – Embryo transfer
So much has been written about the pain and emotional trauma of IVF. Of course I will be deeply upset if the process doesn’t work but the overwhelming sensations I felt during the egg collection and...
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The two week wait (pregnant until proven otherwise!)
And I am into the dreaded Two Week Wait, or ‘pregnant until proven otherwise’. Many claim this to be the hardest part of the IVF process. No more scans, blood tests or monitoring by the clinic, just...
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Frustration and fear at the Early Pregnancy Unit
After more than an hour of nervous waiting room magazine-flicking, it’s time for my ultrasound. I bombard the sonographer with dozens of questions the instant my turn arrives. The two main things I’m...
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OHSS and more emergency scans
Saturday morning my ovaries began to pound again, a dull constant pain like someone squeezing them ever tighter in a fist. I began to read more about Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS). Cases...
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My tiny universe
I can’t take my eyes off the ultrasound monitor. That tiny, indeterminate black dot has grown. In the last few days, it has increased from a 3mm speck to an unambiguous 8mm elliptical blotch. It...
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Pregnant with a cold
It’s the curse of every teacher joining a new school; hundreds of unfamiliar germs lie waiting to pounce on his or her unsuspecting immune system, dragging it down like a rugby player in a tackle. I...
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Beyond the twelve week scan
Sunday 17th March was the date set for my twelve week scan. I’d been scanned at almost 9 weeks but it seemed like an eternity to wait. Three months was a real milestone – if I could only get through...
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Glowing
Pregnancy is beautiful. Despite the decades of period pains and the agony of birth, I wouldn’t swap the privilege of growing a child within my body for anything. I feel like a creator goddess, like my...
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Dreading the 20 week scan
Photo courtesy of Christopher Robbie The 20 week scan fear begins to creep into my thoughts like a frosty shadow over the blooming garden of second trimester bliss. Next Friday afternoon could utterly...
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Surviving the 20 week scan
Elizabeth, the sonographer, is holding me in her arms while I sob… and we haven’t even started yet! The terror of receiving bad news at the 20 week ultrasound scan has grown rapidly worse all week....
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Expressions of love
I am sitting in what I have nicknamed the ‘dairy farm’, my breast attached to a pump which is connected by a long tube to a suction machine. Droplets of milk are being rhythmically extracted from my...
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Bringing baby home
I just wanted to announce that, after three months in neonatal intensive care and special care, I have brought my beautiful son Barnaby home. The experience at the hospital was harrowing – the...
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